Churches struggle with response to sexual identity issues
From my article as Denver Christianity Examiner
At the Catalyst West church leadership conference last week, Dan Kimball (author of The Emerging Church and They Love Jesus But Not The Church) told me, “If we hold the church’s historical view of sexuality, it doesn’t mean we are fundamentalists or hateful.” Kimball is right that holding the church’s historical view doesn’t have to mean a hateful stance toward the gay-lesbian-bisexual-transgender (GLBT) community. He’s even right that holding the view that alternate sexual practices are a sin shouldn’t mean a hateful stance. After all, there’s no biblical example of Jesus displaying hatred toward those in any sinful practice. However, the truth is that most in the GLBT community have been the recipients of hateful actions or words from some who claim to be Christian. Is it surprising, then, that they aren’t particularly inclined to listen to our message?
There are wide extremes in Christian viewpoints on the subject. For example, Denver’s Highlands Church openly proclaims their acceptance of those who aren’t just attracted to same-sex partners but are actively in same-sex relationships. Their pastor Mark Tidd was quoted by MSNBC as saying, “Gay people can embrace their sexual orientation as God-given and seek fulfillment in committed same-sex relationships.” There are other churches in our area where… well, just imagine how your church would react if two men walked into your service holding hands.
I’ve heard many say, “We don’t really care if you’re gay or not. We didn’t ask. Stop throwing it in our faces.” The GLBT community would ask, “Then why is it okay for you? Why should we have to see a man and woman holding hands?”
Andrew Marin, author of Love is an Orientation, says there are significant misunderstandings on both sides. In an interview for Smart Ministry, he told me, “The church believes that if they can just demonstrate enough people that have gotten out of the same-sex lifestyle, the GLBT community will say, ‘Oh, we get it, it doesn’t have to be that way. You were right.’ That isn’t going to happen. Likewise, the gay community believes if enough scientists show genetic proof that it’s how people are born, not a choice they make, the church is going to say, ‘Oh, we get it, it’s how God made you so it’s okay. You were right.’ That isn’t going to happen either.”
One thing is clear: this issue isn’t going away. Last week Bill Ward announced that his club Below in LoDo is becoming an openly gay bar–a first for LoDo. Andy Stanley, pastor of Northpointe Church in Atlanta, told me he believes determining how we’re going to respond to sexuality issues will be the single biggest challenge the church faces over the next five years.
Kimball is right that holding the church’s historical view of sexuality doesn’t have to mean we are hateful. Nor does it mean we change our opinion on alternative sexualities, or stop clearly teaching what we believe the Bible says. However Jesus reminds us in Matthew 7:3-5 that we are hypocrites if we are not focusing as much time and attention on fixing the things that are wrong in our own lives.
A 2010 Barna study indicated that millions of Americans are not going to church because they have been hurt by the church or Christians. These are people who are not growing any closer to Jesus or the life he wants for them because we so often haven’t communicated his truth in a helpful, loving way. Jesus never shied away from speaking the truth. But he also loves you and me despite things in our lives that he hopes will change over time. Would it be so wrong to follow his example?
