When did you last say oops?
It’s as old as the human race. From the very beginning, instead of admitting what he had done Cain tried to get off the hook with, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The fine art of avoiding blame is something most children start practicing early.
But at some point, we are supposed to mature.
Did the high-profile ministry failures we’ve seen come because the people involved sinned? I say, no! At least not completely. Because the reality is that each one of us sins regularly. Hopefully we try not to, and try to do it less every day. But we do sin. I believe the failures we’ve seen are because the people involved tried to hide their failures–even while speaking out against those same sins!
I can’t condemn others for sinning when I’m doing the same thing. But I can speak out against the attitude that encourages some to pretend they don’t make mistakes. I recently dropped a writer because he (or she) missed a deadline and didn’t contact me to let me know something was wrong. If the person had just admitted there was a problem I could have worked with the situation and found a good resolution for all concerned. But the person’s denial put me in a bind–and told me something significant about his or her integrity.
I make mistakes. There, I’ve said it in public. But when you humbly confess it, great things can happen–like forgiveness and grace. Blaming other people doesn’t make you a more impressive leader, it brands you as a phony. Worse, the people you rely upon learn that they can’t trust you. Not only won’t you be there for them, you might even take them down for no good reason!
The leader who knows how to admit mistakes doesn’t become weaker. Rather, people know that he or she is a person of integrity. I had a great conversation today with a woman who reported to me as an editor a few years ago. Early in our relationship I did something that–unbeknownst to me–really hurt her feelings. She had the courage to confront me with it at the time, and I quickly apologized. I had communicated something very different from what I was thinking and had made a star employee feel untrusted! I sincerely apologized for my mistake and told her what I was really thinking. From that point forward, our relationship was fantastic and and almost telepathic in how well we worked together. She mentioned it today and told me how much her respect for me grew that day. (And she contrasted it with someone else she reported to afterward who was unable to handle such honesty.)
Folks, those we lead do not expect us to be perfect! They don’t even want us to be perfect because then we’d be too intimidating. It is one of the finest evidences of maturity when we learn to say oops.
